Weekend Roundup: Me, Myself, and I

Stream of consciousness: A few weeks ago, I left Allergy and Immunology feeling euphoric. After more than a decade of living with chronic illness, I finally had another piece of the puzzle and, more importantly, a treatment plan that was helping me feel clearer, less foggy, and less miserable in my own body.

That initial rush has started to wear off, which doesn’t surprise me. I knew the intensity of that relief would eventually settle. What I didn’t know was how quickly feeling better would become its own new normal.

To be clear, I am not complaining. Understanding Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) and recognizing that my immune system has been the primary driver of my systemic dysregulation has been life-changing. I have spent the last few weeks deep in videos, articles, and social media, trying to understand how the immune system works, how my body determines what is harmful or not, how its overreaction contributes to the mechanics of allergies, and how they operate inside my body.

My new cocktail of antihistamines, blockers, supplements, and other medications has helped reduce inflammation and calm the overreaction of my system. The improvement has been significant. But feeling wonderful as a disabled person is still relative. Relief is real, but it is not the same thing as being cured.

Relief is not a cure.

I am still disabled.

So my internal dialogue, even over this past weekend, has been less about one big euphoric feeling and more about being still, staying present, listening closely, taking notes, and noticing the small, subtle shifts happening inside my body as I introduce new substances into my system and find myself asking even more questions.

• How does my body feel as I wean it off of Cymbalta?

• How many hours of relief does Famotidine provide compared to Levocetirizine?

• What does a histamine blocker feel like? Is the Quercetin helping with the brain fog, or is it something else I am taking?

• How do turmeric capsules make me feel, and can they substitute for OTC pain medications?

• How does Celecoxib reduce breakthrough pain differently from ibuprofen?

  I am still disabled

All of this listening and stillness required me to spend most of the weekend inside, languishing, thinking, meditating, and writing.

The weekend: On Saturday, I did venture out to Boulder Coffee to meet up with a teacher friend, spend time with her four-month-old baby, and catch up.

I also visited a different Park Avenue nail salon for the first time to get a manicure. I did not like the manicure as much as the one I usually get at my regular spot.

After that, I made a solo visit to Jines for a late lunch or early dinner. I dined and read the novel that was long overdue from the Brighton Library, Black Cherokee by Antonio Michael Downing, which I finally finished yesterday.

Backtracking to Friday, it was my last day of teaching baking summer camp for about two weeks, so to celebrate, I drove to one of my favorite gluten-free spots, Livingston County Pizza Company and Gluten-Free Bakery, for the best fish fry in town, which also happens to be gluten-free.

It was a beautiful day for the thirty-minute drive to Avon, and I am glad I had the stamina and fortitude to make the trip.

All of these excursions were done solo.

I love spending time with myself, and in the words of Oprah, “I’m never by myself. I’m with myself.”

What a striking quote from Lady O in her recent sit-down with Keke Palmer. Those words encapsulate my weekend. The best way to understand my body and myself is to spend time alone with myself.

And that made for the perfect weekend.